i am so bad. i don't want to go to the gym. i was always horrible at sports. the last year of gym-going has been spotty and i still do my thing there thinking that all the staff thinks i'm staring - cuz i am - staring at them waiting for them to stare condescendingly at me and think how weird i am and how i'm not one of the people that they see and say loud hellos and walk over to and talk about vitamins and body stuff. i don't wear the right workout pants.

yes, it's all about me. god i'm selfish. fuck it, i'm not going to the gym. i'll go tomorrow. maybe.