i am so bad. i don't want to go to the gym. i was always horrible at sports. the last year of gym-going has been spotty and i still do my thing there thinking that all the staff thinks i'm staring - cuz i am - staring at them waiting for them to stare condescendingly at me and think how weird i am and how i'm not one of the people that they see and say loud hellos and walk over to and talk about vitamins and body stuff. i don't wear the right workout pants.

yes, it's all about me. god i'm selfish. fuck it, i'm not going to the gym. i'll go tomorrow. maybe.

now i'm totally indulging. ferrero rocher and whiskey. no scotch. no whiskey. scotch whiskey. whatever...

reading a stupid romance novel that finally is getting good. usually i try to find some that aren't that dumb and i read them to escape but when they're really dumb, i read them for the laughs. i can't remember when i've laughed as hard as when i read the line "You make me want to suck a bruise on you just to kiss it better".

bwahahahahahahahaaaaaaa i think i woke up the whole building....

i remember waking up breath to breath, our skin felt like the same skin. we didn't need to move.

your hands always felt like my hands - that feeling when you hold your own hand and it is the same size ... same length tip to tip

- and your eyes always felt like they were on the inside of my body - i had trouble not looking down - i had trouble keeping my shaking still

and your body was always crushable
i wanted to wrap around
curl and cocoon you
keep you warm
like when we woke up
breath to breath

i'm all closed up
like aunt ann matilda
shoes be gone where shoes have tried
to hold my feet in various places
envious with warmer spaces
i' ve found i have a destiny with barefoot
the only situation which i know
to give me ground up through my whole body
feeling like we're finally one
on my skin the lips of spring
on my neck the lacy rain
tracing out the great amen
to o pen up
to bring me out
you're really gonna get it when you ask like that

happyhappyhappyhappy...

what a great show last night (setlist below). thankyou a million times to everyone in toronto who came and participated in our radio recording/concert at C'est What last night!!!! thanks to the birthday party planners! i think this puts me up there with chuck e. cheeses now?? lol totally kidding... you guys were incredibly awesome... i love people who come and grab tables/seats up front. don't get me wrong, lurking at the back is understandable, i've done my share of it in my life (being shy and all) but sitting near the front is awesome. :) i can almost smell you!!! ok, you can't see the face i'm making, but that was meant to be a (creepy-style) joke.... bwahaha

lovin' what we recorded last night... think we're going to put a couple free mp3's up for download on the site soon. also have a ream of breathtaking photos from greg king, looking forward to sharing them too. but today i'm recovering... i have tired eyes! and oprahs on...

lol

setlist, october 8, c'est what, toronto

dyin for ya
real thing
slide
trying anyway
stained glass window
important
lover, you should've come over (jeff buckley)
never again (brand spanking new)
tragic
you've got to know (even newer)
you don't give up
wish on a star
don't assume - extendaversionrockmix