i think through this all i'm becoming a recluse. Recluse? did i frikkin spell that right? check dictionary.com... i've been so superstitious about actually journalling anything about the record for fear that i'd speak too soon. i've gone through so many phases with this darn thing that i feel like i've made 3 or 4 records... but it's still just one. The truth is, during the summer/fall after Optimist Party I started working on a record with the band, and sometime by the spring/summer I scrapped most of it. All of it? Well sort of. Some songs got completely dropped, others found a new path and stayed on the list. I think at some point i want to do a record that's all just fun rock songs. Maybe i'll do it under another name, or with another band. These poor neglected children.

But seriousness calls, and the record began again... it sounds like i just changed my mind one day, but it actually evolved over a while... and new songs, new treatments of old songs, new parts, new instruments, new sounds... and lots of new technical knowledge too. My ears are really really different from how they were at the start of all this...unfortunately, this also means that I have a hard time listening to a couple of my favorite bands, because i don't like the production on their records. I have to go into a space where i'm not completely listening. interesting. like taking prozac for the ears.

so i'm going to try and write more openly, if i can stand it. i'm also trying to be more balanced in my hermitry... rent a season of a good tv show and sprinkle plenty of episode breaks between sessions at the computer. Go to the gym. Make real food for dinner. Ok, instant miso soup. mmm.

what i really need is to get this studio out of my house. i'm looking at a few options... would be strange to have an apartment that's actually filled with LIVING stuff instead of looking like a frikkin music store. (although we get some cool reactions). but i think i'd really enjoy "going to the studio" each day, instead of eating breakfast in the studio.

k