i think the problem is that i feel like i'm always on borrowed time... there's no actual free time unless i'm miles away and unable to work on anything. i'll rent a movie, and it'll be like: i'm gonna watch this movie, but then i've gotta do blah blah blah blah blah.... it never ends.

i've gotten a lot of work done on my funding application in the last few days, however. it's much easier now that it's started... the starting is the hard part, like many things in life. now i just have to pick up and continue. write about how i plan to succeed. write about how i will measure that success.

it would be so much easier if i could just say that my "artist statement" is that i plan to continue writing and making better and better records. unfortunately, if i did that, one of two things would happen: a) i'd get the cool jury and they'd think it was great and give me the funding anyways and it would be one of those cool stories that bands tell about their past OR b) it wouldn't fly and i wouldn't get the funding and i'd not be able to make the record the way i want.

so, i can't really take that chance... cuz let's face it... in the end, the federal government has to see a reason to give out the money and all... and i can understand that from a business standpoint... but from an artistic standpoint it can be a bit of a drag to have to write essays on how you will measure your success.. i mean, talk about something that can instigate a writer's block!

k